Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in and the quiet child awaits' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 4th, 2005
11:09 pm	[mood |  whatev.   my depression is becoming really bad again.  garry's stupid gay, canadian, and jewish jokes weren't funny in the first place, but now it's really getting on my nerves.  the only one thing i respect are gay/lesbians, free willed spirits that canadians have and a lot nicer than americans, and the jewish people that suffered too much that garry is becoming a big nazi about it.  if someone is going to think like that. . .then i don't want to be with them.  especially someone who lacks the important information about canada, gays/lesbians, and jewish people.  he thinks the united states is a lot better than canda just because we have the most money and the best military base and weapons in the entire world. who gives a fuck.  im starting to finally believe he's someone who doesn't take much interest in the deeper meaning of life.  like the people, their brains, their personalities, their heart especially.  what they went through before and what they are going through now.  sure, pity us americans we are under attack and we are at war with iraq.  i at least don't think war isn't the answer and we can't stop anyone else from hating us.  if they want to, they it's their deal.  my heart is at extreme pain right now.  and so what if canadians are always stoned, who cares who cares who cares.  my head is starting to hurt as well and all i have to say is   you believe in politics for some reason, and you put faith in a god for probably the same reason.  god probably didn't create and adam and steve, but that's why i don't believe in god.  god obviously gave himself a bad name.  god, go die. (an unopened letter)
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
2:21 am	SALES i went through all my clothes tonight to put up on ebay.  but i wanted to see if any of you are interested.  most of these clothes were hardly worn and some only twice.  this is for me and garry.  im giving garry some of the money to support his moving out on his own and he is about to end his seasonal job.  so it's appreciated.  all shirts are three dollars.  garry is going to help me with paypal, shipping, checks and other.  got any ?'s?  email me at aprilinhawaii@gmail.com   <center> [Vintage] [Size] MEDIUM [Brand] realitee   ( hollister, abercrombie, element, volcom, vintage, classy, skirt, more ) (an unopened letter)
Saturday, August 13th, 2005
1:41 am	jersey shore. [mood |  feeling fine.   someday i'm going to visit new jersey.  possibly live there.  i don't want to hear a bunch of shit about 99 ways why new jersey sucks and you will become hick because of it shut up. im going there because of this my life does revolve around the water.  and i'd like to enjoy it as much as i can.  kthanxbye (an unopened letter)
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
2:56 pm	i hate hate hate hattteee america. im going to move to australia and i don't care what anyone says or what they have to say about australia. if that doesn't work out, im just going to keep moving until something good happens. so i'll run away. that's what im good at anyways. (an unopened letter)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
11:29 pm	[mood |  hot   if none if you haven't already known, my new job is subway.  i quit mcdonalds and my last day is tomarrow.  so stop lovin' it and fucking eat fresh.   i totally forgot how much i miss erin.  i hung out with her today and we got subway, starbucks, and went in her parent's pool.  i don't know when was the last time i talked like a girl, and i can pretty much talk to erin about anything and we would agree with each other and disguard our religious and political differences.  thats always a plus.  and i may be the least girliest girl on the face of this planet, but talking to her today just reminded me that she is my best friend, and that i've been through way too much together.  too many positive and negative fears.  and many positive and negative comments about each other as well.  (an unopened letter)
Friday, July 15th, 2005
12:14 am	just drifting through the sea of life. . . i never thought i'd feel fifty percent comfortable in my body.  but somehow i almost feel more than fifty percent tonight.  my hair is short and dark.  if i'd be anything other, i'd be just like you.  light hair is so cliche.  so is being brunette.  for the time being, i'll enjoy the skin im until i feel like it's not worth while.  maybe for my next piercing extravaganza i'll get my eyebrow done.  and im thinking of getting demon wings on my back for a tattoo.  somehow i feel like i'd be more comfortable in my skin if that were done.  well the hair i wanted to cut is cut the way it is now, but i guess it's time to grow it out long again.  then cut it really short later on.  that's the routine all the time.    my sister and i are going to canada saturday morning really early for four days.  yesssss. Current Mood: pleased (an unopened letter)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
4:32 pm	P E T A im giving up soda cold turkey.  and no not cold turkey as well.  and the whole red meat issue i need to stop too.  i remember everyone kept telling me im a fool for giving up beef and pork and all that shit.  shut up already.  the lifestyle i want to live is none of your business and you shouldn't care.  maybe this will succeed maybe it won't.  who knows.  i made an agreement with myself that i will stop eating work food for a month to save money.  then i'll go with 2 months then 3.  so far it's working.  this is only the second week though.    since im giving up mcdonalds, im going to go to emerald city to get a smoothie and a protein bar.  so don't freak out already.   i could go for some papa murphy's garlic chicken pizza though :-D Current Mood: satisfied (an unopened letter)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
10:58 pm	omgomgomgomgomgomgomg to inform you peoples this is my new lovely cat. my sister is coming home tomarrow.  we are eating at todai and im getting my lip pierced.  evan should be pleased.  haha.  if my sister is staying the night she needs to come with me for the fireworks extravaganza!  i heart this holiday.  mmmmmmmmm fireworks. (an unopened letter)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
12:33 pm	dear erin,   you said you'd call me after your interview, which was 9am, you're interview does not take 4 hours.  stop doing this pleeeeaaasssseee.   sincerly,   not so sincerly.     Current Mood: very very disappointed Current Music: suddenly everything changed-joie lenz (an unopened letter)
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
12:58 am	scene core kids. my parents are leaving for las vegas monday. no. no partay at vi's house. no shindigs. none of that. im getting my hair cut and jet black.  im going to be hot to trot like this stranger   with the lip ring minus the cooky brown bangs.      Current Mood: i need wata! Current Music: shut your mouth-thursday (an unopened letter)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
10:08 pm	skinny emo kids. im about ready to pull my hair out cuz i want my lip pierced and my hair jet black. michelle, im going to be scene for you haha. and i know you're going to think im pretty gay after i do that. and i worked out for an hour today and about ready to do another session of yoga and taebo. tomarrow im starting a 3 day health spurge where i try to eat as much fruits and veggies as possible and then eat sensibly. i don't eat as much fruits and veggies so im trying to pack in a lot of it during those three days. then i will eat a lot of fruits and veggies and whole grain for 5 days straight. protein? fish and peanut butter bitches. i want to get buff. watch me carry 35 pound dumb bells by the end of summer. Current Mood: cranky Current Music: forever-as i lay dying (an unopened letter)
Friday, June 17th, 2005
1:17 pm	shut up already im iritable every time a guy mentions how bitchy his girlfriend is.  or how every single girl they meet have large amounts of mood swings and girls want to do is bitch, whine, moan, rave, whatever.  go figure.  if you haven't put the pieces to the puzzle together yet, every single fucking girl is like that.  so stop stop stop stop all this bickering about why your god damn girlfriend is a big fat bitch.  you're probably a big fat ugly bastard.  and complaining you're girlfriend behind her back to all your buddies is even more low.  go suck your friends cock or something okay?  Current Mood: dur. Current Music: an honest mistake-the bravery (an unopened letter)
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
1:26 pm	and when it all goes downhill from here. . . i must not understand the people around me.  it's like zach braff from garden state.  your sitting there for hours at a time, while life passes you by.  while you sit there for hours at a time, and you just sit while time goes by quickly.  sometimes thats all i wish i could do.  i don't even understand my own friends.  why are you ignoring me when we are in a group of four?  i cannot get a word out.  no one hears me.  they'll hear me if i do something extreme like try to commit suicide, but that's it.  i don't want you to hear me when im trying to take my life away, i want you to hear me all the time.  one person knows im trying to sufficate myself then everyone knows.  i think i've been a bad friend.  but i haven't at the same time.  why do i feel so lousy?  i shouldn't be.  all i wanted was to be known.  Current Mood: confused Current Music: michelle's song-straylight run (an unopened letter)
Monday, June 6th, 2005
10:21 pm	i will end up being drained next week. so the next two weeks until school gets out is going to be omg hectic.  this week i plan on hanging out with erin and amanda more just because they are the stars in my weekly planner for this week.  and i won't be seeing much of anyone except them because i am working five days this week plus finals in class.  i have a paper due this friday and next friday.  i actually don't want to see much of anyone this week just because im feeling a bit "anti-social" and i think i need to endure this moment of wanting to be alone.  im so tired of everything right now that the thought of being around people most of the time gives me a headache.    tuesday-work, maybe work out, hang out with erin or amanda, and do lots and lots of studying.   wednesday-school, clean, work out, do my poetry homework, and whatever.   thursday-school, clean, work out, hang out con mis amigas, and homework.   friday-school, massive hours at work, and clean.   saturday-work out and work.   sunday-work out and work.   i know in june 25th and father's day weekend im busy going to lacey to shoot pictures for my sister's project and the holiday.  then in mid-july im going to bc and victoria island.  sweeeeeeet.     Current Mood: angry Current Music: last train home-lost prophets. (an unopened letter)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
8:56 am	Which Jesse McCartney are you? by squeakers137 Name Age Fave Jesse Song Fave Jesse Feature Eye Color Hair Color The Jesse you are is... Quiz created with MemeGen! (an unopened letter)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
4:48 pm	jkashjasd. i've got all the fucking time in the world to feel like this.  actually i don't.  here are my plans today to keep me from this distress im feeling.   do all my math homework. do poetry homework.  strictly poetry.  no "pouring my heart out to the world" writing. study for more math. clean (maybe). drink lots of tea for my stupid throat. catch up on some sleep pack a little bit do laundry it has been raining outside.  thank fucking goodness.  the world is crying for me.  since i've already cried enough to flood the world for 1000 years. Current Mood: contemplative (an unopened letter)
Monday, May 9th, 2005
8:13 pm	my spring cleaning. tomarrow im taking most of my posters down because im no longer a child. so goodbye old blink 182, good charlotte, and uhhh all the other rest. i just spent most of my money at the dollar store on hawaiian wall decorations and such. plus im on a sprinzy for my multiple photo frames that im gunna take sephia and black and white photos of my family. and my scrapbooking days has begun. Current Mood: artistic (an unopened letter)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
1:03 pm	Don't Vote For the Love of God Which presidential candidate should you vote for? (an unopened letter)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
8:38 am	music 10th grade no use for a name new found glory linkin park blink 182 mest   11th grade something corporate finch saves the day all american rejects good charlotte omg.   12th grade atreyu fall out boy yellowcard something corporate   now rise against the postal service the decemberists armor for sleep my chemical romance the used.   yah. memories. Current Mood: calm (1 wrote me | an unopened letter)
12:07 am	im the kind of person who should be left alone while im angry and not having people hover over me for distinct criticisms or overdone nagging.  so please, if im mad and you make me mad, just shove it.  okay?  that's all im asking.  this is for anyone to just let me walk by myself.  i don't need a hand or someone to carry me.  i have a better understanding of myself if i don't let it come to the fact that i can open my big mouth like my mom, in fact, i need to show it to myself that i can learn to be less upfront and arrogant.  i also have a better understanding of myself when i persue writing my thoughts and feelings down in this green journal i have because i have lack of communication (and it's better off that way).  disaggree with me that lack of communication is infact the worse way to settle my anger.  just like everyone else who doesn't listen to me, im not going to listen to you either.    i think my parents should send me to canada or something to live with relatives i have up there.  or go to hawaii to save them and their land.  because im such a bitch and think the united states have gone completely autistic.  retarded.  psycho.  any synonyms that go with it.    america isn't beautiful. . . Current Mood: neurotic (1 wrote me | an unopened letter)